Monday, April 11, 2011

Look Before You Sit!

Not the Focus After All 
"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks."~John Muir~
No kidding John Muir! What does a mandevilla have to do with my walk with nature, nothing, really. I thought it only fitting to show you a pretty picture before I tell you my tale of woe!
On the eve of the new moon I was awakened by the gentle knock of my kidneys on my bladders wall, as a reminder to excrete the fluid of their labor.
As I stumbled in the dim view of the seven watt to the porcelain vessel of receivership I cast an eye to the bowl and noticed a small dark object just above the water line. Oval in shape, what might it be? I flipped on the sixty watt, blinded at first, I then focused and nearly jumped out of my skin! A PALMETTO! A polite Florida word for COCKROACH, by no other name!!! He waved his little antlers at me as if to taunt my patience, with a catch me if you can, arrogant kind of attitude!!!
My killer instinct kicked in as I did not want to disturb the comfort of my sleeping husband. I had him dead to right, there was no escaping my wrath for his intrusion on my privacy! Close the lid and flush, yes that was my plan of attack. A quick and painless demise for a just and noble cause!
Victory was so sweet, or so I thought! These disgusting little critters can escape in the blink of an eyelid and vanish into thin air. One's lung capacity can hardly keep up with their lightning pace. As I sat in comfort, my eyes opened wide as I thought he might of headed north to a safe haven under the seat. I may have gotten him, but I could not be sure. Good God, you never saw anyone move so fast. Back into the safety of my bed I flew. The husband still totally unaware of my battle with satan.
My beloved bug man will be visiting us again soon for an extra spritz. Sure Shot Pest Control, ya right, mister sure shot, at least you get to stand up! I'll get that little sucker and any surviving relatives if it's the last thing I do.
Now go change you panties, I just know the tears are rolling down your legs. Maybe I'll move to the North Pole or maybe even a high rise, or maybe......Well in any event, you can be sure that I will always look before I sit and I suggest that you do the same!

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1 comment:

Louisiana Belle said...

How terrifying! That's like the last thing you want to see before sitting on the throne. Yikes!! LOL

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